the remnants of jonas

last night as my flight from cleveland began to climb above the cold remnants of jonas, i took a glance at my google calendar to realize how little of january i had left. 

had it really been 3 weeks?

i spent most of it living inside a cuban bubble mixing sound in the beautiful city of havana but now that ive been back i keep trying to pick up the fresh scent of 2016 slowly realizing that its gone and that the year has marched on ahead of me.

i sat on my non-reclining middle seat with these thoughts. i tried to sleep them away but i couldnt. i found that i had several podcasts saved on my phone and for the next few hours i began to listen to the kind, gentle, and wise words of alistair begg and r.c. sproul. ironically both of them were speaking on the futility of life and both were teaching from the book of ecclesiastes. the term living under the sun was thrown around, which simply states that without purpose everything we as human beings do and acquire is meaningless; that in essence we are all just useless passions.

https://www.truthforlife.org/resources/sermon/the-search-for-satisfaction/
http://renewingyourmind.org/broadcasts/2015/09/01/vanity-of-vanity

useless passions? seems kind of harsh. well, it can be but luckily we all have a hope and its found in Christ. apart from Him we are all left to our own devices, which according to the author of ecclesiastes all leads to vanity of vanities. most of the tough and painful lessons that ive learned were all caused by my own vanity.
it was great to hear sproul and begg put things into perspective and as we began our initial descent the rumblings inside my soul began to settle. it seemed like a few moments later but as i drove on the 105 i began to think of 2016 and the path that was laid before me, which at the moment was the on-ramp to the 710 freeway.

one step at a time 

unfinished business: cuba

6 months and a new year later and i'm back in miami international getting ready to board a flight to the island. there's unfinished business for the amigo skate crew and for the next two weeks we're going to try and unravel what the impact of the lifting of the us cuba embargo has done to the local skate scene and in a greater scheme the people. i'm excited to sweat & break bread with my good cuban kin. 

thirty in cuba

i didn't lose my phone 2 nights ago so ill take it that my 30th went well although my body would like to tell a different story. a few days ago I got hit by denge again, which brings the count to two, possibly three cases in the past year. i wrote about the agony of the first encounter last july; it knocked me out for a whole week. this time it had me out for 2 days.

i never imagined spending my 30th in havana but here i am. it didn't dawn on me till a few days later after i agreed to do this doc that i'd be spending it away from family and friends. for the past 3 years i've had to make these kind of decisions and it seems to be point to a scary realization that i may not be sticking around for too long. who knows
these are the kind of thoughts you get when you're glued to a bed and toilet.

by thee grace of God i was given control of my bowels again and was able to get up and not feel like my bones and neck were about to snap. i took a morning stroll through havana and was finally able to go online and not check facebook (5 months facebook clean).
after 2 week's worth of emails, instragram updates, and whatsapp convos i made my way back to the casa particular.

later in the evening we were invited to an electronic dj set not far from our casa. a few hours later it really got going and we somehow made our way up the roof. as i looked at the crowd i began to think about my twenties and the half-hour or so that were left.
melancholy mixed with havana club began to creep. i thought about my little sister priscilla who just graduated high school, my pops probably watering the grass and yelling at the dog, i thought about amerie's beautiful smile, i thought about all of the great friendships i've made in the past decade and also the ones that don't exist anymore. all the toil, sacrifice, and the pain

a quick jab to the side and suddenly i was back. vanesa, my director/producer wrapped her arms around me just like my sisters would and yelled "you're 30!"
then came chris and albert, my brothers for the past 3 weeks, the cuban skating crew, and others ive met along my cuban experience.

in short the only thing i can truly say is that the only reason why i'm still alive and healthy, and have the ability to do and be where i'm at is only by the grace of God. He's been the only thing that's been constant in my life.

i'm excited to see what my thirties have in store, a new passport perhaps?