spirit of the season

i live in a city where i hardly sense the changing of the seasons. for the most part things are relatively warm to scorching hot with a mild sprinkle of relative cold. things hardly change and ive always been a fan. but while our weather might not change as much, life does.
there is no forecast model, doppler or radar that can detect the next catastrophe.
life always finds a way to remind us that change isn't something simply confined by the falling of the leaves; that when you least expect it life will burst in and rudely remind you to buckle up.

last night, as my family and i finished eating and celebrating my little sister's 13th bday, we got news that my grandma's husband, (practically my grandfather) tony was shot 3 times in front of his house. he made it to the front porch where my grandma brought him in and called the paramedics. over the last 3 years my grandma has been in & out of the hospital and she's had a few operations for a weak heart. a few hours after the shots rang my grandma had a minor heart attack but luckily she was already at the hospital. nonetheless things did not look good.

a few days ago we were all eating thanksgiving dinner at the house. tony, eating like it was his last meal. grandma making 3 different batches of tamales. my sisters and brother in law joking with each other and telling stories with my parents. now i'm here seeing it all play in my head and i cant help but think that all of this will also pass. in the midst of this calamity i need to remind myself that God is in control and that He is good. He also speaks through these circumstances and so here goes & comes another season of change. 

Tripping through the Balkans (pt.2)

The distance between Podgorica and Tirana is 130 kilometers, which is roughly 81 miles. Back in LA I can travel this in little over an hour; it's a different story in the Balkans. It took almost 6 hours on bus and all I kept thinking about was this.

I arrived in Tirana 4 days ago and in the course of writing this entry yesterday morning, two exhausted Aussies walked into the hostel and naturally we began to chat. 2 hours went by, we spoke of our travels and I found out why they were so exhausted. It turns out that they had just taken a 24-hour bus ride from Athens to Tirana and as our warm homecooked breakfast - omelets, fresh cheese, peach marmalade and toast - was brought to us, the look on their faces was priceless.

I began to tell them about Tirana and how originally I was going to spend only a night but then I told them how thankful that I didn't. I told them that the city is small, very walkable, nothing really that'll blow your mind; not so quite like 
Podgorica but in the same neighborhood. Having said that, again it all comes down to the people. It doesn't seem like it at first because frankly they're also looking at you in the same manner but the Albanians and Albania is still getting warmed up to tourism, which is why its such a great & exciting time to be here. People are very inviting if you give them a chance and that's what I did and what I'll continue to do.

As I begin to wrap this entry I sit on the top balcony of Sunny Lake Hostel, sipping some warm joe, seeing another beautiful sunrise over the mountains.

The location: Ohrid, Macedonia. The journey to this place involved another bus ride (not so long this time) to podgarec, then hopped on a cab to the Albania-Macedonian border where we literally walked across, and then finally waited for a city bus that took us through the mountains and finally here in the early evening.
 From the little that I've walked I can only use one word to describe this place, mystical: the lake, the mist, the thick green algae on the shore, the strewn and abandoned boats laying side by side, the tall mountains in the back, yeah mystical sounds about right and today I'll get to see the full extent of it. 

I had no idea that this trip was going to bring me through the Balkans but that's the beauty of traveling with a blank boarding pass. God is good and I'm very fortunate to be having these moments, 

God bless!

morning: munnar, india

im still trying to process this morning's view
it was unlike any ive ever seen. 

the misty clouds didnt seem to move much, they stayed put like a well trained mascot. down below they were all nestled together in the deepest part of the valley while pockets of them hid below the forrest right above the surrounding tree lines. 

sunrise was at 06:16 and with coffee in hand i had a cool 3 minutes to savor the moment. the birds kept arguing down below our balcony, they were at it for the past few hours but i didnt mind it much. some of the neighbors began chanting and singing something traditional that i can only assume is local munnar tunes. 

the sun finally rose but it wasnt strong enough to pierce through the clouds. nevertheless, the sun's rays did something to the forrest. the clouds that were motionless a few minutes ago began to sprawl up the valley like a giant octopus. something unseen was set into motion: the clouds knew it, the birds knew it and now i knew it. 

i still cant believe im in india. i remember the look my mother gave me when i told her that i was coming here and to a certain degree, rightfully so. ive seen alot of faces on my travels and now that theyve brought me here, i can see why alot of people have a certain impression of india. 

from how they approach customs & immigration or their driving with seemingly no rules of the road but a simple set of car honks. add the long and lingering looks of strangers and india to the western newcomer might seem like a frightening place. 

but if you wait a question through the long gazes might emerge with a "hi, where you from?" or "can i take picture with you?"
out of those loud and annoying honks a pattern will begin to emerge and will quickly realize that all those cars are communicating. 

and, if you wait just a bit longer, out of those long and unwavering stares a smile will peak through. 

this will be day 2 in munnar, india and i feel like ive seen and experienced alot already. ill end with some wise and uplifting words i read this morning from c.s. lewis' mere christianity.

"when a man is getting better he understands more and more clearly the evil that is still left in him. when a man is getting worse he understands his own badness less and less. a moderately bad man knows he is not a very good; a thoroughly bad man thinks he is all right. this is common sense, really. you understand sleep when you are awake, not while you are sleeping. you can see mistakes in arithmetic when your mind is working properly: while you are making them you cannot see them. you can understand the nature of drunkenness when you are sober, not when you are drunk. good people know about both good and evil, bad people do not know about either."

God bless 

monday was a pretty crazy day

my alarm went off at 4:00am but i snoozed a few times; i rolled my eyes, i didn't want to start the day. my flight to jfk was scheduled at 6:59am and there were two airport shuttles from downtown montreal that i could take: 5:01am or 5:31am. i knew it'd be risky but i went with the 5:31am not truly knowing how much of a risk it'd actually be.  

along the way these were some of the challenges that i encountered:

the shuttle was 10 minutes late 

my metro card for some reason wasn't reading but by thee grace of God the driver let me on

by the time i got to the american airlines counter, i was late for international check-in

the check-in lady must've felt sorry for me because the next thing i know she hands me a boarding pass and tells me "give it a shot, but we will not wait for you" that was all i needed. i thanked her and bolted towards the gates. i thought i had things in the bag but i quickly realized that it wasn't going to be that easy.

US customs and immigration is done at montreal airport so when i got to security the line was out of control. i was about to throw the cards and give it up but then i realized that there must be a global entry line somewhere! or not. 

i frantically looked but nothing, no signage, nada. i approached a security agent and asked him if there was a global entry line, he paused, my sphincter tightened, and then he slowly pointed. directly behind me, a few yards away, right next to the crew-member & airport employee line there was a sign that read global entry

my heart lepped. and yet again global entry saves the day. i've had global entry for a little over a year now and its probably one of the best $100 dollars i've ever spent. seriously. seriously seriously.

it was 6:25am when i got my customs slip from the kiosk and it was 6:35am when i got past the CBP officer. i was greeted by the pre-boarding announcement when i reached my gate. it was a sweet sound. there were so many variables in play that had to go my way in order to get where i was at. not just at the boarding gate but in general. a few minutes later i was given my seat and a moments later i was sitting in 18a waiting for push back.

i wish i could say that that was it but my day had only just begun. from new york i flew to san francisco and from there finally to seattle. it was long long day but thats the kind of job and life i signed up for. wouldn't have it any other way. God bless!

un poquito de quito y lo demas: pt. 2

ecuador: galapagos, center of the earth, lizards, evolution, mutants.

these are the images that came to mind whenever ecuador would come up. volcanos and glaciers were not. these were the last things i expected to see or even climb during my stay but thats exactly what happened. the next morning we were off to cotopaxi volcano but not before hopping a cab and checking out the basilica del voto nacional. 

its probably the most beautiful church i've been in south america. we must've been the first ones in, nobody was there and it was great! we climbed all the way up, up some dodgy stairs into open air, and took in our last moments of quito.

it took us a little over 2 painful hours to get to cotopaxi from quito. the journey was not the most pleasant and in particular the last hour when the road becomes unpaved. bryson and i stayed at the secret garden: cotopaxi, which is the same hostel chain we stayed at in quito. this hostel was definitely a step up from the rest of the hostels i've stayed in south america in terms of cleanliness, amenities and facilities (up to par with portuguese hostels for sure). what truly sets this hostel apart was the view though. when its clear the view of the volcano is breathtaking 

we made some swiss, mexican, venezuelan and of course australian friends the first night, went on a hike, i jumped off a 15 ft. bitter cold waterfall and spent the following day doing absolutely nothing. doing nothing was something i had been looking forward to and so while bryson went off horseback riding, i stayed and read paolo coehllo's the alchemist made some new friends, and drank tea the whole day.  

the next day we were up early and headed to cotopaxi. my ears were hurting and already was having shortness of breath; we weren't even out of the van yet! not sure whether i was being a big sissy or whether the elements were to blame. i looked around our group and saw that everyone seemed ok...

we drove up to 14,000 ft. and began our trek up the volcano and to the glaciar. the bottom of the glaciar hanged at 15,000 ft. and at first glance, the ascent doesn't seem intimidating. its pretty straightforward with no deep ravines, or crazy switchbacks. but looks can be very deceiving and fatal. carlos, our ecuadorian guide, was telling me that several people usually die from heart attacks during the climb, being that they don't let their bodies acclimate long enough. comforting 

i began my trek dandy and strong but at 100 ft. i hit a wall. the next 700 ft. were pure hell. 

as i climbed higher a new pain would emerge. my chest was on fire, my calves deadlocked, my core cramped, my thighs jello, my lungs squeezed like a raisin. with every step i took the ground would dissolve and take me two steps back, like i was doing it on quicksand. 

this climb had to be one of the toughest things i've done and many times i questioned whether i could actually do it. there came a point where i stopped looking forward because it seemed like i made no progress. eventually my biggest enemy became my mind so i stopped looking forward and channeled my sight at looking only at my next step. 

when i finally reached the top, i stepped to the side and i welled up a bit; it was a mixture of alot. exhaustion, relief, surprise. 

besides the constant reminders of my mortality, there came a point as i climbed up the volcano where i descended deeper into my heart and reflected.

i have no doubt that God has ordained every single event and circumstance that's been placed forth in my life. the good, the bad, the horrible, all of it. and the climb was a beautiful reminder that He is completely in control, even when i get brave at 99 ft. God has always been there patiently waiting at 100 ft. with hands wide open.

the view from the top was unreal and was only heightened by God's incredible grace and mercy dispalyed in my life. a few minutes later, after having caught my breath, my phone briefly got reception and i received a text from my mother that a good friend of the family, Francisco Magallanes, had an unfortunate accident and passed away. he was good man, a Godly and kind man who I have no doubt will be seeing again.

the climb down was quick but dangerous. one slip and there wasn't really anything that would stop you from picking up speed and tumbling all the way down. it began to rain the last 30 ft. and by the time i got inside the van, the thick clouds were speedily billowing through the parking lot and i quickly blacked out.

the next morning, we were dropped off by carlos' son on the side of the road in machachi were bryson and i hopped on a bus to baños. 

brasov departures: bryson you're 30!

a few years ago back when bryson was still in his 20's, we took a trip and backpacked across two continents. we wanted to explore south america and western/eastern europe and so we hustled all summer of 2009 and saved enough cash and made our trip a reality. the plan was simple at the time: one month in south america and one month in europe.

things didn't pan out to be as easy as i thought. this 2-month odyssey had us in some interesting situations. we were stranded overnight inside a bus in the bitter-cold of the peruvian andes, abandoned by our tour guide in machu pichu, distressed and living in panama tocumen airport, detained at the argentinian/chilean border, lost in some sketchy malls in bogota, supported each other through painful dry heaving in barcelona, missed busses, trains and flights throughout spain and italy, navigated through shady bucharest trying to find housing in someone's makeshift hostel/living room, and avoided black bears on our hike through brasov's forrest. we flew to 8 different countries and our journey took us as east as romania and would've taken us south through bulgaria and finally to istanbul. sadly though one of us wouldn't make it that far.

i ended up taking a train north to budapest and continued to prague ending in dublin. being the coward that i was i didn't even say goodbye to bryson and i can still remember that morning as i nervously paced back & forth through the bathroom corridor. in the end i opted last minute to tell a new friend i'd met in our hostel to relay the message that i was leaving.

i used to look back at our trip and all i would see were the things that went wrong, the things that didn't go according to plan. the truth is that i was to blame for a lot that happened; the choice was mine and i chose wrongly. my childish anger and selfishness blinded me from seeing all of the beauty and kept me from remembering the amazing experiences we had during our trip.

the educational videos we made in machu pichu, the old man we saved on our bus ride to santiago, chilean independence day in valparaiso, being personally escorted to the correct bus stop by a concerned stranger in bogota, enjoying the gentle fall breeze in barcelona, wandering aimlessly through roman ruins, hanging from the side of a moving train and smelling the transylvanian countryside and countless other moments heavily outweighed what i deemed as "bad"

it took some time but we were finally able to hash things out. since then we've been solid and even though we don't work together anymore and happen to live thousands of miles away from each other, i know that he'll always be there; he's just that type of guy. friends like bryson are a rare breed and i can only thank God that i still have the privilege to call him a friend.

bryson, today you enter a new and strange chapter in your life. a time when you'll probably start wearing wrangler jeans, start hanging out with random cats, and pick up bird watching as a hobby. i just want to say that i had a blast getting to know you these past few years and i look forward to what our thirties have in store for us.

love you man,
feliz cumpleaños güey!

my darkest coldest week

a few weeks ago i found myself a few thousands miles south of home in patagonia, argentina and along the way i stopped to check out the perito moreno glacier. to those who never been, the experience is nothing short of magnificent, one that will definitely live with me forever. i remember how the ice fell, tiny bits at first. but as those pieces slowly began to fall, bigger and bigger ones also began to drop. the crowds quickly took notice and they all gathered with cameras raised high. they waited and waited, i waited but nothing happened; the ice held. so the people left and went about their business.


i stayed.
i just knew that there was no way in hell that mountain of ice was going to hold. i waited and nothing, i couldn't believe it! i studied the area closely, the pattern in which the ice fell, where the ice was chipping away from, saw how dark and dirty the ice around the area had become, this had to be it. all around me i could hear the gasps of others as more ice mounds fell into the murky lake. i was not impressed



 i waited and waited and began to lose hope that this was ever going to happen. but then the sun came out of the clouds, it was gentle and warm. the sun's rays must've helped because soon after this 60-ft wall began to fall. the sound was so loud and it created mini tsunamis across the lake. the awe was short-lived though, i don't know it all just became so sad to me. who knows for how long this giant sheet of ice had been standing for. it just seemed so depressing at the time to see it go under. soon after as the dirty wall laid waste in the murk, my eyes were instantly drawn to what was now before me. there was a new wall with no dirt with no imperfections, it was clear and pure. in it was one of the most beautiful blues that i had ever seen and i just could not get over it. the glow was unreal.


magnificent as all of this was, the foreshadowing of it all is even greater and it is now that i clearly see God's hand in all of it. two weeks ago my life began to slowly crumble and fall into a cold and lonely abyss. it felt as if the pieces would never stop chipping away but eventually the mountain inside of me came crashing down and with it my selfish and stubborn heart, the hate, everything, it all went down.

seven days ago i didn't know what kind of man i was going to be. i was in a dark place, i was alone and the lights were definitely out. so i did what i was taught as a young boy, i got on my knees and i prayed. the God of my youth, the one who would miraculously provide me with random rides back home from late night football practices, the one who kept me safe on a 10-hour train ride from kiev to odessa, the one who didn't let me drown and let the rip current take me away in busan, the one who had me be 10 minutes late to my lunch and miss the cross-hairs of the lax shooter, this same God began to do his mighty work in me. He is my master Surgeon and the only one that could ever get me through this.

i don't deserve the amount of grace that's been given to me but i'm definitely not mad about it. its easy to focus on what's on the outside but looking beyond and seeing what truly matters, what glows and what will last forever, that's what it's all about.
if you know me, keep me in your prayers, if you don't then please start and add me to your line-up. i most def need it