31, for what its worth

31
it was a hell of a ride
but i would also like to say sorry.
for a minute it seemed like i would never sleep on my own bed and i'll admit that it began to wear.
some beds were comfortable but others were slabs of cold porcelain. 
im not complaining.
i chose the life and i've given up alot to be missing the simple vanity of a comfy bed;
although its nice. 

the last breath i remember taking was back in february
when i hopped on a flight to kona, 
then galapagos, 
san blas islands came next and so on. 
i met some amazing people along the way, some that i'll probably catch up with later in life.

thats kind of how it works. i meet amazing people in crazy circumstances, bond over drink and travel and we say our "catch you on the next one"
at that the moment i find myself inside drinking tea in my beautiful los angeles and it feels strange.
i haven't been home for my birthday in years. 
the feeling is strange but feel good knowing that im going to see my family tonight. 
31
for what its worth, you made me into a stronger man. ive grown the courage and ability to say no to the wrong jobs, bad relationships and youve affirmed that i can do whatever i put my mind to. 
im going to miss you, for some reason 32 definitely feels so much serious. 
i guess we will have to see 

inside the heart of the angkors

the AM hours were still shrouded in darkness.
im not sure who's alarm went off first but the journey into the mystic angkors of siem reap was finally here and although the sun remained chained,
we knew that in just a few hours its fiery wake would have no mercy.

i can still remember the unseen heat of dawn invading my every pore, hiding in every obscure corner.
our tour guide spoke softly as our van speared through the morning's muggy dew. bun made us aware of the beauty and many hazards of these ancient angkors

but my senses slowly began to drift into the nothing that stares from the other side of the glass.
time drags its fingers across the unseen jungle reminding me of its presence.

darkness finally loosens its grip and faint shadows reveal an exhausted jungle. the pulse of these ancient cities are projected through the cicada,
which at this very moment warn the jungle of intruders.
the van finally stops and i have a strong feeling that i dont belong here.

nevertheless we press on and make our approach through the less popular eastern gate.
massive trees along with broad canopies stand side by side making it difficult for dawn's light to pierce through.

sunrise is moments away and already i can feel the heat rising like the impending blast of hiroshima.


i arrive at the point where east meets the western gate crowd.
i marvel and hang on the outer edges of angkor watt; the moat perfectly catching the reflection of its towers along with the delicate pink hue from above. this moment is holy
and will forever remain so
the thick jungle in the backdrop hides the horizon but i know the chains have fallen.
i am inside the heart of the angkors.